Thinking of You
by Ashlie Christine
Summary: Edward leaves and Bella is lost even though she can't get him out of her mind. He's everywhere and all she dose is think of what could have been. Based off of Katey Perry's song Thinking of You. One-Shot. E/B


**A/N: Hey guys! Srry for all the one-shots lately, but its all I've had time to do. I am now out of school tho, and hopefully I will be able to update more(especially Poca if any of u r reading that!) Anyways...this fic is based off of Katey Perry's song Thinking of You. For those of you who have not heard it, I highly recomend that you listen to it! I think it is the perfect song that fits the saga! New Moon especially. So listen to it while you read this! It totaly makes it better :D This is set durring New Moon when Bella lost Edward and it is just basically her thoughts on the situation and with Jacob, tho no names are mentioned! It basically jus shows how she feels and how she is dealing with it all! Srry for the sucky review! Hopefully the story will make up for it! LOL! So enough tlk! Go read and enjoy! Please Review!**

**Disclamer: Tho I soo wish I did, I do not own Twilight or the wonderfull charectors created for it(Maby I own Edward in my mind ;D) nor the song for that matter!**

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**Thinking of You**

_Comparisons are easily done  
Once you've had a taste of perfection  
Like an apple hanging from a tree  
I picked the ripest one  
I still got the seed_

It's hard not to look at him and try not to make the comparisons. I had everything I ever needed and it was taken from me. A huge hole now lies where my heart used to be. He's there, but I still carry you with me everywhere I go. It's too hard just to let you go, disappear out of my life. I planted what was left of my heart with you.

_You said move on  
Where do I go  
I guess second best  
Is all I will know_

Move on? I don't think it's possible. You took my soul with you when you left. We were supposed to be together forever. Grow together. I sit here as time passes me by. Nothing to say, nothing to do, no strength to even try to move or go anywhere. Him. I'm never fully satisfied when he's around. He's there, mends the pieces, but it's not the same. Better than nothing though. I have a slight chance of survival in what's left of this world. But he's not you. No one will ever replace you.

_Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes_

I can hardly think when he's around because everywhere I go I see you. Your with me when he's standing by me, talking to me…holding me. He lies with me at night now when I'm screaming for you. He warms your once cold spot. It hurts him, but it hurts me more. I close my eyes to will the pain away and I am met with hazel ones in my dreams. Sometimes I wish I couldn't dream, because the pain is too much to bear when all I want is you right here beside me.

_You're like an Indian summer  
In the middle of winter  
Like a hard candy  
With a surprise center  
How do I get better  
Once I've had the best  
You said there's  
Tons of fish in the water  
So the waters I will test_

_He kissed my lips  
I taste your mouth  
He pulled me in  
I was disgusted with myself_

My sun tries to will it all away, but it's only suppressed for so long, I fear the pain will never go away. I've had all I've ever wanted in my life and It's no use going on. No use trying to heal the pain. You were everything to me and all I've ever wanted in my life. It's nearly impossible to heal that part of my heart. He tries but it never sinks in. You are my heart. As my unresponsive lips meet his time after time, all I feel are cold marble ones. Dazzle me not. I feel your breath on my face and I feel sorry for him, because I can't, won't, let myself love him like I loved you. Like I still love you. All the hugs, the touches, the way his skin feels on mine are all in vein. It's hard for me to touch him like the way I did with you. I can't. It's too much and I won't let him in. Betrayal to you is all I fear and I can't do that to you. You still mean so much to me.

_Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into..._

You're the best  
And yes I do regret  
How I could let myself  
Let you go  
Now the lesson's learned  
I touched it I was burned  
Oh I think you should know

I wish with all my might that that day was a dream, but it never is. It's the only thing I do remember now days. The kiss still lingers. Your words still echo all around me. I should have fought harder. I should have grabbed onto you and never let go. But I was weak. I let you slip through my fingers so easily and now the pain won't go away. I'm already in way to deep. The moment I first looked into your eyes, nothing else in the world ever mattered to me. I was burned by every inch of you and now I'll never see you or me in your eyes again.

_Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes  
Looking into your eyes  
Looking into your eyes  
Oh won't you walk through  
And bust in the door  
And take me away  
Oh no more mistakes  
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay..._

You may not _"exist"_ anymore, but your still here with me. You surround me everywhere and though as I try I can't get rid of you. Day or night. I don't want to close you out. You may not see into my mind but its filed full with all of you. I hold on tight to your voice and the memories. I want this nightmare that has become my life to end. I beg every night for you to just come back to me, to just get me out of here. Cause in your eyes I like to stay. It doesn't matter when you're not here, because when I'm with him I am thinking of you, and what you would do if you were the one still spending the night. I go and wish that I was looking into your hazel eyes. Thinking of you.

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**A/N: So I hope u liked it! Please comment and let other wonderfull fanfictioners that its here! Ill give u all cyber hugs and maby share Edward with you frm my mind! For those of you reading Pocahontas or other stories, I will get on them soon! Seriously go listen to the song! Its one of my favs right now! Ok b4 I ramble anymore and bore you with my words, i shall go! Review! **

**Luvs u bunches!**

**Ashlie Christine**


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